Wonderful Wonderful Romance: Of Jokes And Deals
by chaos-dark-lord
Summary: This was the most twisted friendship ever. None knew exactly what that meant. But Joker needs his "friend's" help because only a foreigner can kill Joker... or so he thought. And one way or another she will help him... If he can open up her heart after he it was sealed away. He ain't the only villain around anymore.
1. Under arrest

**Follow–up romance route for the series "Wonderful Wonderful Science". So it's recommended to read that.**

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**CHAPTER 1: UNDER ARREST**

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Joker utterly hated this and hated everyone. He had far better things to do than to deal with this; more so when his counterpart was still back in his room in such condition. But he at the very least needed to save appearances and not show any weakness even if someone had been stupid enough to call on a council just to satisfy the stupid girl's whims.

Due to Alice's insistence on a meeting, when everyone had come back from Diamond after the Jabberwocky had gotten lose and clashed with the mercenary foreigner known as "Aria Hadron Scherzi" into an epic battle that ended up with the merc being sent to Spades and thus permanently getting her out of the picture, everyone was forced in yet another useless gathering.

He was wearing his warden's uniform and couldn't tolerate this. The game had cheated on him and was screwing him up far worse than anyone else. Life wasn't fair but this was just far bitchier that even he could manage.

No one wanted to be here. Much less speak about the second foreigner. Her disappearance was still too fresh and he was fed up with his. Sure, he wished his so called merc "friend" would come back, but wishing served for nothing. She was gone and that was it and it bothered him that even when he wanted to blame her and hate her for this he couldn´t.

He got up and turned his back to the depressively quarreling group that was already disbanding when a black hole opened above them like an eye in the sky, and from it came clashing against the table a figure clad in a dark armored technological suit, that had unleashed the side blades of her forearms to slash against tendrils of darkness that were trying to grab her and pull her back into the portal of shadows.

_"Aria!"-_ Everyone screamed upon seeing the second foreigner along with their personal inserted phrases.

The strange portal began closing, but the darkness tendrils began attacking everything that moved as the mercenary girl slashed at a vine like tendril that had grabbed her by her ankle. She got free and her body hit the table; to avoid another attack she rolled incidentally directly to where Joker was dealing with some attacks on himself by the lost bullets that came his way.

Seeing his chance, he jumped right over the tech-armored foreigner and grabbed her hands over her back to close some handcuffs on them.- _"You are under arrest!_ " - He immediately threw her over his shoulder as he jumped away to avoid knives, swords and bullets as all hell broke lose all around.

_"You´re going to hit her idiots_"- Someone called and people began attacking each other as much as the things coming out of the soon to be closed portal.

_"It's alright, I'll apologize and explain later to everyone!"_ – Aria called with her strange digitally distorted voice, not minding being arrested and kidnapped. However she didn't look fine either. It was obvious that she'd been fighting for a while.

Without losing time Joker jumped to the door behind him and called for the elevator to reach his own territory. Lucky for him, the knives and bullets from the other roleholders that had the guts to shot him when he was carrying the girl, hadn't hit in fatal spots. Only a foreigner could kill Joker.

The doors of the elevator closed behind him and he dropped Aria.

_"Ouch!"-_ She managed to stand up and looked at Joker. He was sweating, breathing heavily and his look was, to say the least, distressed.- "_Joker. You aren't alright. "_

He blinked; surprised that she seemed truthfully worried about him. However, this was partly her fault. She was guilty. Or so he wanted her to be.

_"YOU FOOLISH WOMAN! What the hell happened_!?" –Joker looked as angry as he was baffled and tried to hide that he had been worried.

Up to this point, not even he knew what had been going on with her. She had not played the game as it was supposed to happen, nor had she acted like a foreigner should at all. Her existence was indescribable and he at times had felt that she was his own Joker, and the fact that she had a sort of deal and connection with his role thanks to the old connector mask-shaped earrings from a past Joker she wore, didn't make it easier as they released her from his influence.

_"I´ll… I´ll tell you later. But first tell me what is wrong with you White?"- _She was infuriatingly calm.

_"WHAT'S WRONG!? "–_ He slammed her against the back of the elevator and put his shaky hand on her neck – _"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG! MY FRICKING "BEST FRIEND" ALMOST CAUSED THE _extinction_ OF THIS WORLD BEFORE UNLEASHING A _creature_ THAT CAN DETROY THIS WONDERLAND AND THEN SHE WAS PRACTICALLY _DESTROYED'_ IN A FIGHT WITH SAID CREATUR BEFORE DISSAPERING AND MAKING ME THINK YOU WERE FOREVER TRAPPED IN A DEAD MOMENT!"-_ HIS GRIP TIGHTENED but it was not very effective on the armored collar piece of her suit._ He got his face close to her and growled-"Not to mention that I…."-_He managed to stop himself from saying it._ -" What makes you think that I'm White! I'm simply Joker."_

She looked confused and even showed surprise and remorse. A great feat from someone that lacked feeling. Then her gaze hardened and she kicked him away from her – _"I asked you what is wrong with YOU White. I tell you what happened in Spades later. But now I'm worried about you. You look sick, pale and weak. And I'd know which one is White and which one is Black even when both of you are Joker. I wouldn't be a good friend if I wasn't even capable of distinguish that."_

_"Such a good friend you are!"_ – He was still surprised by her worrying about him even when he had said she was arrested and she knew what he was capable of doing. More so because she was in clearly no conditions to fight. She looked tired and battered too.

_"I told you that I wasn't good in this friendship thing. And you can take of these cuffs. I ain't running from you"_ –She looked calmer despite the handcuffs limiting her movements and possible defense.

Just then, the elevator stopped and the door opened to a corridor in the prison.

He moved her inside the prison and she didn't resist. He uncuffed her and took her to Black's room without saying anything to her and she responded with equal silence.

When they reached their destination, he opened the door and pushed her inside. The place was barely lit and on the bed was Black laying in the bed with a huge bandage on his torso covering a bleeding gash. Arias eyes widened and she ran to the side of the bed. The warden was unconscious, breathing hard and sweating. Now she understood why White seemed to be in pain. He was feeling what his counterpart was suffering. - _"What the friggin hell happened?! Cómo chingados quedaste así!?"-_ She even returned to use her mother tongue.

The jester saw her moving her weird equipment over his counterpart and taking into his battered state. It was useless. He had tried everything and he had seen what happened to such large wounds and heavy loss of blood. And despite being in his own territory he wasn't healing. It was impossible; the wound was not normal, it had been done at the battle in the castle of Diamond by one of the shadow copies of the Jabberwocky, that had concentrated it's antiexistence into that attack, and because the Jabberwocky is a thing that can destroy shit because it's the antienergy born of the darkest emotions of foreigners, it had actually managed to hurt even him. There was no helping it. He knew his counterpart was dying.

She unwrapped the wound on his torso to get a better lecture and she gulped. Not that she hadn't seen or done worse, but she hadn't got a real friend in years and he was the closest to it.

Joker gritted his teeth, still unsure as to why he had brought her here. When she appeared he had only though of snatching her and bringing her here. Maybe he had wanted a last taste of her friendship or her pity. The only he had ever received. Perhaps he had wanted to show what she had caused. Or maybe he wanted her help and the mercy she claimed to not have but in the word "mercenary". He took a deep breath and responded- "_It was the Jabberwocky. This is what happens to those attached by it. They get destroyed, literally they cease to be_."

_"What!?"- _She looked between both parts of Joker.

_"I'm calling upon your so called friendship. Only a foreigner can kill Joker."-_ Seeing his other self like that was pathetic. He had even tried to kill him to see if he recovered but in vain. Now He knew what he wanted of her-"_I don't know what will happen. When he dies maybe I'll slowly cease to exist too; or maybe I'll die with him at the same time… That would even be better than remain as only a part of myself…"_

"_You can't be serious_"- She was the one gritting her teeth now.

_"I want you to kill me."_ – He was dead serious and desperate. He couldn't think of himself as only half of himself. That scared him more than true death.

_"Like hell I will!"-_ She stood up to him.

He slapped her and threw her over the bed besides his counterpart; once again he griped her throat; this time right below her jaw and over the collar of her suit to meet real damageable flesh.

_"Defend yourself and kill me or I'll kill you instead."- _His grip tightened and he sat over her with his legs at the sides of her hips and leaning over her with his other hand at the side of her head.

_"NO! I WON'T KILL MY BEST FRIEND_." –She didn't defend herself.- "_ITS NOT OVER JOKER."_

_"OF ALL THE TIMES YOU HAD TO DEVELOP A HUMAN CONCIENCE…!– _His red eye glinted with fury. He knew that as absurd as it was, he was one of the few strains she had to her own conscience. Killing him would probably destroy whatever was left of her thin and twisted sanity. But he didn't care at all. He would do anything and everything to achieve this. If she hated him she would kill him. It wouldn't be hard. He was usually very good on getting that from people, specially female prisoners.- "_I'LL MAKE YOU HATE ME!"_

With his free hand he grabbed her suit and opened the air sealed latches as she had taught him in case she ever needed medic help badly enough that it would require someone taking of her suit. He received a slight electric shot from her suit's inner circuits at it was peeled of her skin. Her gaze went wide with shock when his hand went to her chest and she understood what he was trying to do, and then her eyes glared at him with disgust.

Doing this would truly earn him a dreadful death. But if he needed to rape her to get her to hate him and kill him, so be it.

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**Sadly I have limited time to write, so updates will be determined by which story is reviewed. **


	2. The price of a deal

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CHAPTER 2: **THE PRICE OF A DEAL**

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She got far more than angry at him for even thinking that such thing as rape would work against her. He was desperate but it was not an excuse. It even was obvious that he barely had enough strength at all and she was not going to tolerate this. In a quick move, she made a grip on his neck with one leg and then used the other in a scissor kick to throw him off her and into the hard ground.

"_Listen up Joker! Remember that little deal everyone made with me before you all sent me into a suicidal mission to get to Alice!? Well, guess what!? My undeniable request with yours or any role is that whatever I order will be obeyed unquestionably!"_ – She barked with merciless malice as her eyes shone with a digital hue and the world stopped.

No other sound but their ragged breaths resounded in the air.

Joker's eye widened and he moved to launch himself and strangle her.

"_HOW DARE YOU! ...AHHHGGHHH!"-_ A scorching sensation engulfed him like a burning web, it was not only his body, he felt it in all his being, in all his role, it was completely binding and it was the will of this world.

Not so long as it seemed, during a concert event at the amusement park, there had been a well-planned and well-coordinated attack from various factions. They had managed to capture Alice and had almost captured Aria and had used that to make all roleholders stay put in one place. However, Aria had managed to move by herself thanks to her experience as a mercenary. She had managed to establish communication and had exposed her grim situation; she was in the middle of the fight, completely outnumbered and outgunned, already hurt and without support.

And what had they done?

They of course asked her to go and get Alice. Some hired her to get Alice 'permanently' out of the way just for the fun, and others of course hired her to go and get Alice out of danger. None really gave a second though about Aria's own safety until later.

That completely destroyed whatever little trust or care the mercenary girl might have gave during her stay in Wonderland.

With all due scorn, she had accepted the deal whether she helped Alice or not at the end. As payment for engaging in the mission she asked for a huge monetary compensation for every kill she directly or indirectly caused; and as payment for fulfilling her contract when she reached Alice, she asked something that no one would have thought possible. They offered whatever she wanted and Joker had came up with the idea of one undeniable request from his part. She had asked that from everyone but sworn by their roles. An oath that would be fulfilled by their roles independently of their current holders, something that they could not refuse or twist, a promise almost as strong as a rule.

She had been very angry. And somehow, the king had used his power as ruler of Hearts, and because the oath had been done during an official event, any deal made with her that night was accepted and enforced by Wonderland itself.

Joker never thought that such deal would come to bite him in the ass so hard.

The burning sensation concentrated on the back of his hand and into a mark that faded from view but that would never disappear from his being. He would have never though that she would ask something so binding and terribly wicked.

Now he really was about to kill her. He would have had she not acted first.

"_Now you WILL stay put and away from me while I do my best to save BOTH OF YOU Joker!_."- She stood up with despise on her gaze that burned like the flames of hell.

"_You fucking bitch..."-_ His red eye shone with pure hatred and his finger closed as if they were around her throat.

She walked past him and stopped at the entrance. - "_And if I can´t do anything I promise you that I will kill you_."- She didn't look at him as she made her way toward the bed where Black laid in unrest.

White on his part didn't even followed her. He couldn't. The command to stay away had been absolute and he couldn't violate it no matter if he wanted to launch himself at her and beat her skull into the ground repeatedly until only a bloody and gory mass remained.

She came back to Black's side and cussed heavily when she saw his chest. It was bad. She wasn't exactly fine herself but he was far worse. From her suit she took out a few ruby red pills made or her own crystalized blood and she threw them towards White. She had learned that even foreigner's cells contained a bit of their mana life energy, thus, even blood or something as simple as a kiss that exchanged saliva, could enhance the natural processes of healing from people in this world. A natural injection of life. The pills were useless to her, but they were a nice power-up for wonderlanders and they sold for high amounts in the black market even if people didn't know what they were.

"_Swallow those!"_

Without a choice he did so and immediately felt a small rush of energy that made him feel a bit better. He had heard of this kind of pills and wondered how she had them and why she was giving them to him.

She returned towards Black and took out her field equipment to try and analyze what was wrong with him. She tried a general analysis and went from mode to mode until a violet hue illuminated the integrated lenses in her eyes so that she could see the energy and electromagnetic fields with her optic implants.

From the doorway White saw her bark a long string of cusses and curses in her mother language.

She had detected that there was that anti-energy of the Jabberwocky clung onto the wound, like a dark film that blocked the natural mana energy that should be absorbed in order for him to regenerate and heal. That was why the Jabberwocky had been so feared, because before she made a deal with it, the creature was a mass of antienergy created by all the hatred and despair from foreigner, and as such, it could nullify and eliminate the natural mana energy harvested from the outsiders love and positive emotions. None really knew the details that she had discovered, but what she such knowledge had allowed her to destroy the mindless beast in Diamond, and later on to make a deal with the original role of "the jabberwocky" in Spades...

It made sense why Black hadn't healed even when he was in his own territory. Roleholders were supposed to be able to naturally gain mana and share it with their territories, even if they weren't aware of such fact. It was one of Wonderlands ways to make use of foreigners while the game was on or even when it was actually won or until they weren't there anymore. They could receive the power that came from the shared life, love and time of a foreigner and condense it back into theirs lands.

Of course neither roleholdes or foreigners were supposed to be aware of that.

She augmented her zoom as much as she could and then took out a mini field microscope from her things. She saw the effects of the Jabberwocky's attack on Joker as a sort of oily wall that was cutting him from wonderlands energy. And without that, people from this world were even weaker than a foreigner. However there was a way. Being a foreigner, she was a source of mana energy. She might not be able to produce much like Alice's real love, but she had the knowledge to manipulate it and she could try using the same trick of the Jabberwocky's anti-existence against it. If she could direct her own energy towards the Jabberwocky's on Black's wounds, she would be able to nullify and destroy it.

1-1=0

She put her hand on his chest and the digitally light of her eyes turned to purple as she concentrated in one very defined section of the spectrum; she took a deep breath, knowing just how much this would cost her, and lowly sang some little tune in her language, a soft lullaby with a strict tempo to set up a radiation rhythm.

White barely heard her words, but he felt warmness seeping on his counterparts chest as she directing her own mana towards the wound so that both energies could clash and cancel each other. Then he felt a cold burning heat on Black's torso, but as she went along in her little trick he began feeling better. Whatever she was actually doing, it was working.

She allowed herself a grin at the success.

By the time she finished she knew she was close to pass out and she accommodated herself at Black's side. Her hand trembled and she considered that there was one more thing she could do to help him accelerate his recovery rate. She moved her lips towards the warden's mouth and prepared to direct all her remaining intent towards him. Before she did so, she addressed the Jester without even turning to look at him. - "_Stay the fuck away from me White. I'll stay here with Black... as a foreigner, even my proximity helps..."_

The next second White felt her soft lips crashing on his counterpart's. It was not a timid kiss. She parted his lips and used her tongue to caress his's and used her teeth to lightly pull on his lip. He felt as if this kiss was a taste of life. It was not a mere kiss. It was far more than that. Whatever she was doing was like taking a thousand of those ruby pills, make them powder and sniffing them while drinking the best wine of the world and getting hardcore fucked. It didn't last. All too soon she passed out from exhaustion. And he was left wondering what to do.

He tried taking a step closer but he couldn't. She had been clear about wanting him away. Instead he hit the wall in frustration and stormed away.

What the heck had she really done!?

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**That was a deal with the devil, right? I don't know who is more devious, if Joker or Aria... both shouldn't be trusted or taken lightly. **

**Still she did her best to help him... at least for now. He really tried something very bad and Aria is not someone that forgets or forgives.**

**I know that the explanation about here regarding the Jabberwocky is a bit confusing. If you want the whole explanation (including what deal was that) and even the scientific description you can check the last chapters of the original fic "Wonderful Wonderful Science: Diamond Dust" , I will also add it later in a simplified version in the mini notes on the one-shot "Wonderful Wonderful Science of a Wonderful world"**

**Alas, the explanation about the energy, blood and pills is also in fic "Wonderful Wonderful Science"**


	3. Goodbye my friend

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CHAPTER 3: **GOODBYE MY FRIEND**

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A couple of days passed and White hadn't seen or even spoke to her. The only time he had tried to, she straight up sent him to fuck off without even looking at him. After that, his only contact with her had been through his counterpart's senses and it bothered him greatly that whatever she was doing to the warden felt so good and so relieving; but after what had transpired between them when he brought here, he couldn't understand why she was still helping him.

First, it had been the afterimages that she had allowed to assist her while White had returned to the circus with no desire to be down at the prison. But soon weariness and hunger drove the foreigner to the kitchen. That was when Black woke up.

The warden found himself in his bed with a stinging sensation on his chest and soreness in his whole body. He wasn't sure what the hell had happened or how he had healed. He had been sure that he was not gonna make it. So how in hell was he alive?

He stood up with a lot more dizziness than he expected, and the soft smell of warm food made him move towards the kitchen. When he arrived. He saw the last person he thought he'd see. His so called 'best friend' and mercenary foreigner that had fought the frumius Jabberwocky, Aria hadron Scherzi, wearing the dreaded pink apron that refused to disappear from his kitchen over her full armor and preparing something that smelled very nice. He was relieved to see that she was alive.

His stomach growled and she turned around with a red gleam in her eyes that immediately faded to her natural olive green shade when she saw him.

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"_Black! You're awake!_"- She leaved the pan on the stove and went to the warden right away to examine him.– "_Are you alright? How are you feeling? You should be in bed._"

"_Back off woman_!"- The warden said and pushed her away but felt a slight blush and amiable sensation at her worry and felt glad that she was fine and back.

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She took a step away and her soft smile twisted into heinous mock as her gaze hardened to look at him with due seriousness and without any emotion betraying her fair face as to what might be going in her mind or heart.– "_Do you think you'll be fine now?_"

He saw that she had a purple hit on her jaw and was tempted to reach for it. He wondered how long she had been here or what had happened. Last time he had seen he she had been rammed by the Jabberwocky and thrown to a portal. He tried connecting to the jester to know what had happened, but his counterpart was nowhere around the prison and was keeping himself disconnected from him.

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"_Of course I will_ _idiot_."

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She brought her hands to her chest and sighted. The gesture was off. - "_Good. Then my deal with you is over Joker_"

Black immediately got a sense that something was very, very wrong. And when she used the same hand that had been over her heart to form a first and hit him with all her force on the jaw to then kick him in the stomach and sent him crashing to the ground, he got far more confirmation than he would have liked that things were wrong with her and that he was still far too weak.

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"_What the fuck bitch!?_"- He screamed at her from the ground.

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She stood over him, impassive and arrogant, looking down at him with scorn and disdain - "_Listen Joker. DONT FUCKIGN DARE ANYTHING AGAINST ME AGAIN!"- _ She took off the apron and threw it over him.

He was surprised by her actions, but the icy cruelty of her gaze had been what left him motionless. He knew that look well enough. He was very used to receiving the hatred looks of many; but never even a scornful gaze from her. It confused him… And it hurt.

She narrowed her eyes and turned away before throwing a final despising look over her shoulder towards him. - "_Goodbye 'my friend'_"- Was the last things she said before disappearing.

A couple minutes later the burned smell of what she had been preparing made him react and turn off the stove. Then he went to see look for his counterpart, angry and confused at what had transpired.

Black found the Jester in an empty circus tent. All the workers were avoiding both of him like the plague, and when he confronted his counterpart the jester was gloomy and in a murderous mood, giving him the back. Not that the warden cared.

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"_What the fuck happened, Jester_!?"- He put his hand on his counterparts shoulder to turn him around.

"_It doesn't fucking matter Warden. We are fine._ "- The jester growled throw clenched teeth and shoved his other self from him. Then his red eye turned fierce and he connected with his counterpart to let the other Joker into all the information of what had happened since the warden was unconscious.

"_You what!? You fucking idiot!_" – Black threw a punch at his counterpart's jaw.

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The jester didn't resist. Now the two (or three) would have a purple mark on their faces for a couple time changes.

Black fumed a string of curse and leaved the jester there to return to his own domain among violent treats and curses. He feared that he had probably just lost the only friend and funniest toy he'd ever had… but it wasn't possible, was it? The damn psychopathic girl didn't have feelings. So as soon as she had calmed down she would come back and apologize, would she?

At the very least, now that she had such freacking power over his role she was sure to come back later to make use of it, and he would force her to apologize then.

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Had he known what she was planning and how dangerous things would become for Wonderland, he would have run to stop her. But while he was leaving things cool down, Aria had made her somber way with aplomb to the castle of hearts and had officially requested an audience with the kings.

That was the first clue that something was wrong. She hated bureaucracy and official stuff.

She was taken into the audiences room as presented with all formality, and as soon as the herald announced her, she threw away all protocols and spoke what she wanted.

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"_Let us cut the pleasantries your majesties."-_ Her face was still like a doll's and her olive green eyes had none of the brightness that illuminated them before._ -"I'm here to request that you seal away my heart."- _She didn't let them speak even when they stood up in shook, and it was obvious that this was not a request. It was a demand. _- "Yes. I know about that old rule that says that if a foreigner asks for it, such thing must be done._ "

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**To seal away her heart… what could that mean? How dangerous for Wonderland can that be?  
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**5 reviews for the next update in this or the other stories.**

**Oh, and I released an M-rated shot with White. **

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